


Adventures in Babysitting

by notastranger



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Blacksand - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:39:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notastranger/pseuds/notastranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pitch meets Sandy at a party but can't work up the nerve to ask the other man on a date. Who better to help than five seven-year-old girls and one thirteen-year-old Jack? Written in response to a prompt on the DW kink meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Babysitting

“Can you make it tonight?” Anna Fiona Airie, better known by her friends as Tooth, asked into the phone. “I know it’s short notice, but I could really use the help with the girls.”

“I don’t know, Tooth, I’m really trying to work on this chapter,” Kozmotis replied at the other end of the line.

“Please?” Tooth begged. “I really want to take them to North’s party, but Aster’s going out of town for three days and I can’t enjoy myself and keep an eye on—ROSE! LILY!” She put a hand over the phone’s mouthpiece and yelled at the two girls running past her. “NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE!” She uncovered the phone and asked sweetly, “So you’ll join us?”

“Is he going to be there?”

Tooth rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Kozmo, that was ages ago and North paid your dry cleaning bill so I don’t know why you need to still be so sore at his son.”

“It was a bucket of dyed snow.”

“It was hilarious.”

Kozmo sighed. He wasn’t getting any work done, anyway. “I’ll meet you there. Tell the girls to be on their best behavior.”

“Yes, General,” Tooth laughed, and hung up the phone.

***

The barbeque was in full swing when Kozmotis arrived. He never figured out how Nicolas North collected so many eclectic friends, but it probably had something to do with his wild past. The Russian inventor still had the tattoos to show for it. “Kozmo! Good to be seeing you!” He gave the man a crushing bear hug.

“Good to see you, too,” Kozmo wheezed, rubbing his sore sides. “How are you doing?” His eyes scanned the crowd warily. “Where’s your son?”

North laughed loudly. “Do not worry, he is here but having eye kept on him by mentor.” He leaned in and added in a stage whisper, “Sandy is really more of a babysitter but I am not telling Jack that.”

Kozmo relaxed marginally. “Good to hear it.” He was about to ask who Sandy was, but Tooth and her daughters had arrived and one of them was making a beeline for him.

“Uncle Koz!” She chirped happily, hugging him around the legs.

Kozmo smiled fondly. “Good to see you, Violet.” She was technically the youngest of the quintuplets, and the other girls called her Baby, but Kozmo never patronized her by using her nickname.

“Thank God you’re here,” Tooth said, catching up to her daughter. “I need a drink and a burger, preferably in that order. Girls, mind your Uncle Kozmo while Momma makes herself a wine spritzer.”

The girls kept Kozmo occupied for the better part of an hour. He had a way of keeping them in line and out of trouble that other people couldn’t hope to accomplish. They weren’t afraid of him, but they certainly respected his authority.

Tooth came back so Kozmo could have a chance to get something to eat. He grabbed a hot dog and a beer and tried to find a place to sit, preferably by himself.

“Hey, Mr. Pitchiner.” Jack was perched precariously on the back of a patio chair.

“Hello, Jack,” Kozmo replied coolly. “Are you using that seat, or may I sit there?”

“This chair?” Jack’s grin turned devious.

“Jack, your dad needs you at the grill,” said a gentle voice. A blond man walked over and lightly nudged Jack off the chair.

Jack jumped off. “’Kay, Sandy. Bye, Mr. Pitchiner.” He took off and Kozmo let out a sigh of relief.

The blond smiled at him pleasantly. “I think it’ll be safe for you to eat now. I’ll fend him off if he comes back to harass you.”

My hero, thought Kozmo, and felt himself blush a little. “Thank you.” He tucked the unopened bottle of beer under his arm so he could offer his hand to shake. “I’m Kozmo Pitchiner.”

“Sandy Sanderson,” the shorter man replied. Kozmo raised an eyebrow and Sandy laughed. “My real first name is an Icelandic monstrosity that nobody can pronounce. So I just go by Sandy.”

“Nice to meet you, Sandy.” Kozmo settled into his chair. “North says you’re mentoring Jack?”

Sandy nodded. “Jack took one of my art classes. He really has a talent for sculpting. North asked if I could spend some more time with him, try to get him to focus. He’s a good kid, he just needs to find his center.”

“So you’re an art teacher then?” Kozmo cracked open his beer.

Sandy smiled. “Yeah. I enjoy it. I mean, I’d love to just paint fulltime, but—“ And then Sandy’s voice became sheepish and quiet and Kozmo had to lean forward to hear him, “—that doesn’t pay the bills.”

Kozmo chuckled ruefully. “I feel the same way about my writing, but unfortunately I’m no good at teaching. They dropped my class at the community college because no one would take it. The students said I was too harsh.” He rolled his eyes. More like his students were too lazy and unmotivated.

Sandy’s eyes widened and he snapped his fingers. “Ohhh, wait a minute! I’ve heard of you before. You wrote the Pitch Black series!”

“Guilty as charged. Have you read them?”

“All four of them. I had nightmares for weeks!” Sandy laughed. “You have a really twisted imagination.”

“Thanks,” Kozmo replied, flattered, and took a sip of beer.

“So how do you know North?”

“Actually I met him through Tooth. Uh, I mean—“

“Anna, I know.” Sandy laughed. “She told me to call her Tooth, too. Daisy is in one of my classes. How do you know Tooth, then?”

Kozmo grinned. “She was my orthodontist.”

Sandy looked surprised. “Really? And you’re friends? I don’t think I even know the name of the woman who cleans my teeth…”

“I had many, many appointments with her. I needed braces as a kid but my parents couldn’t afford them and things only got worse as I got older.” He rubbed his jaw in remembrance. “Tooth managed to fix all the damage and only needed to pull one molar. She’s a miracle-worker – my mouth was a nightmare.”

“And you had long, in-depth conversations while she stuck her fingers in your mouth?” Sandy joked, and Kozmo laughed.

***

Kozmo’s conversation with Sandy lasted long after he finished his beer and hot dog. He was impressed with the other man’s intelligence and quick wit, although sometimes the blond spoke so softly that Kozmo worried he’d lean too far forward and fall out of his chair trying to hear him.

He was also adorable. He had such a sweet face and warm brown eyes and an endearing way of looking up when asking something, like a question mark was going to appear over his head.

But Kozmo had been burned too many times to let his thoughts get any farther than that. Sandy seemed very interested in what he had to say, but that didn’t mean he was interested in him.

He was in the middle of explaining the publishing process when a familiar hand landed on his shoulder. “Hey, Kozmo. The girls dug up one of North’s shrubs. You’re fired.”

Kozmo looked up at Tooth guiltily. Damn, how much time had passed talking to Sandy? “I’m sorry, I should have—“

Tooth cut him off with a laugh. “I’m just kidding. They only almost dug up the shrub, but North stopped them in time. Besides, you were having a nice time, I didn’t want to interrupt.” She gave Sandy a friendly smile. “Anyway, we’re taking off. Thanks for giving me a break, I’ll see you later.” She gave Kozmo a quick hug and then flitted away, gathering her daughters as she exited the backyard.

Sandy stood up and dusted off his jeans. “I should make sure Jack hasn’t destroyed any of the landscaping either.”

Kozmo hid his disappointment. “I hope he hasn’t for your sake.”

Sandy smiled. “Well, it was nice talking to you.”

“You, too.”

Sandy hesitated a moment, as if waiting for Kozmo to say something else, then waved a little and walked away.

Kozmo waved back awkwardly. Maybe he should have asked for Sandy’s phone number? He shook his head. No, too forward and too presumptuous.

And you’re a coward, he thought with a small frown.

***

Aster arrived home three days later to the enthusiastic hugs of his wife and children. He listened as best he could as his daughters talked over one another, clamoring for attention.

That night, cuddled in bed, Tooth mentioned North’s party. “It’s too bad you weren’t there. Kozmo was watching the girls.” She frowned thoughtfully. “Although he spent an awful lot of time talking to Sandy.”

“Daisy’s art teacher?”

“Yeah. It was more than I’ve ever seen him talk to anyone he didn’t know well.” Her frown turned to a whimsical smile. “I wonder…”

Aster snorted. “Aw, c’mon. Like Kozmotis would fall for a guy like Sandy. The man irons his socks.”

Tooth elbowed him in the side. “Be nice. It’s been so long since Kozmo’s had a boyfriend. I think it’d be sweet.”

“Well, before he gets a boyfriend, he’d actually have to see Sandy again and ask him out.”

“True.” Tooth stopped dwelling on her friend’s love life and chatted with her husband about other things.

Neither of them was aware that one of their daughters had been standing just outside their door, listening to their conversation.

***

Violet slipped back into her room and grabbed a flashlight. “Wake up,” she whispered, turning it on and shining it on her sisters’ faces.

“Baby, we were sleeping,” whined Poppy from a top bunkbed.

“This is important,” Violet hissed. “I’m calling a meeting.”

Her sisters quickly got out of bed and gathered around her. “What’s up?” Lily asked.

“I heard Mommy and Daddy talking about Uncle Koz. Mommy said that he liked talking to Sandy and that he needs a boyfriend, but Daddy said he has to see Sandy again and ask him out first. We have to help him.”

“Can’t he do it himself?” Rose yawned.

“I dunno, Daddy made it sound like it’d be really hard for him to do on his own.”

“Sandy’s really nice,” Daisy murmured, a dreamy expression on her face. “I think he’d say yes if Uncle Kozmo asked.”

“So are we all in?” Violet asked, sticking out her hand. The other girls put their hands on top of hers, a silent agreement, before breaking into giggles.

“How are we going to help, though?” Lily bit her lip worriedly.

“I don’t know yet,” Violet admitted. “But I know someone we can ask.”

***

“Who do I look like, Cupid?” Jack shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “You girls are on your own with this one.”

“Please, Jack?” Rose clasped her hands together. “You always have the best ideas!”

“Yeah, and you’re already friends with Sandy so you know what Uncle Kozmo needs to do to ask him out!” Lily chimed in.

The rest of the girls added their pleas and Jack couldn’t help but grin. “Okay, fine, I’ll help with getting them in the same place. But the mushy stuff is up to you. Just give me a little time to come up with a plan.”

True to his word, Jack dropped by their house later that day with two pink envelopes. “Ooh, love letters!” Violet squealed.

“Sort of,” Jack replied. “But they aren’t for Sandy and Mr. Pitchiner.”

***

Kozmotis stared at his computer screen in frustration. The chapter was going fine until he realized that he needed two of the characters to meet if he wanted the plot to move forward. Naturally, they were not cooperating. “Just get together, will you?” he growled, deleting and rewriting the same three paragraphs.

Still unsatisfied with his work, he sat back and shut his eyes. Maybe he should just kill both of them and start over. At this rate, he was not going to have anything to show his publisher. Back to teaching at the community college, he thought bitterly, with a bunch of students staring through him while he lectured as if he didn’t even exist.

The phone rang and thankfully shook him out of his dark thoughts. It was Aster. “Hey, Kozmo. Are you free to babysit tonight? Tooth got us reservations at the Full Moon.”

“I don’t know. It’s awfully short notice,” Kozmotis murmured.

“I know, mate, but she told me in a love note and left it in my briefcase. If you can’t do it, we can try for another night.”

“No, no, that’s fine, I can watch the girls,” Kozmo said hurriedly, still feeling a little guilty about slacking on the job at North’s party.

“Great!” Aster sounded relieved. “I’m heading there straight from work, but Tooth will be home until six.”

“I’ll be there,” Kozmo replied tiredly. At this rate, the babysitting gig was going better than the writing.

***

When Tooth picked up Daisy at her art class, the dreamy-eyed girl handed her a pink envelope with a sheepish look. “Daddy wanted me to give you this earlier but I forgot.”

Tooth opened the envelope and read the typed letter inside. She smiled fondly. “How sweet… oh! But it’s tonight! We’d need a babysitter, and this is much too short notice for Kozmo.”

“What about Sandy?” Daisy asked, pointing at her art teacher. The blond was in the middle of cleaning paintbrushes, but looked up when he heard his name.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s too short notice for him to babysit, either,” Tooth said with a shake of her head.

“No, it’s fine. I’m free tonight.” He smiled warmly.

“Are you sure? Five seven-year-olds can be a handful.”

“I mentor Jack.” Sandy grinned. “I think I’ll be okay.”

Tooth beamed. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Sandy. Thank you so much. Come by at six, that's when I have to leave.”

***

At six o’clock sharp, Kozmo stood on Tooth and Aster’s doorstep. He was about to knock on the door when the sound of someone coming up the walk caught his attention. It was Sandy, and he seemed just as surprised to see Kozmo as Kozmo was to see him. “Hey, Kozmo. What are you doing here?”

“I’m babysitting,” Kozmo replied, confused and a little distracted by Sandy’s smile.

“Huh! Tooth asked me to babysit tonight, too.”

Just then, the door opened and Tooth stepped outside. Sounds of chaos spilled out from behind her. “Oh thank goodness you’re here, Sandy. I—Kozmo?” She blinked. “Why are you here?”

“Aster asked me to babysit,” Kozmo replied, his growing confusion bordering on annoyance.

Tooth groaned. “Oh, great, we double-booked.” She adjusted the feathery barrette in her hair and pulled her car keys out of her purse. “Well, the two of you can duke it out and I’ll pay whoever is here when we get back. Bye!” She darted off to her car.

There was an awkward silence while Tooth drove away. “I can go,” Sandy finally offered. “I mean, you’re used to watching them, I’d probably get in the way.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t get in the way,” Kozmo replied. He tried thinking of a way to invite Sandy to stay without sounding desperate when Poppy suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Hi Uncle Kozmo! Hi Sandy!” She turned back towards the house and yelled, “Kozmo and Sandy are here!”

There was the sound of happy shrieking. Poppy grabbed both of their hands and dragged them inside. Sandy laughed at the enthusiasm. “I guess they want me to stay, if that’s all right?”

“That’s fine,” Kozmo smiled, secretly relieved.

***

Sandy got the girls settled with their homework before heading into the kitchen. “Can I help?” He asked Kozmo, who was chopping up some peppers. “What are you making?”

“A vegetable stir-fry,” the taller man replied. He didn’t miss the vaguely disappointed look on Sandy’s face. “Something wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing… it’s just that I usually get pizza when I watch Jack.”

“I prefer making sure the girls have something healthy on a school night,” Kozmo replied mildly.

“What’s wrong with pizza?” Sandy asked, amused. He opened up the refrigerator. “Oh, look, they have some of those ready-made crusts. We could make our own.”

Kozmo set his knife down on the cutting board, feeling a little flustered. “The girls need to eat their vegetables.”

“I don’t think I touched a green vegetable until I was at least ten, and I turned out all right.”

You most certainly did, Kozmo thought before hurriedly returning his gaze to the cutting board. But he didn’t feel like giving up the argument just yet. “The girls like what I cook.”

“So then they’ll like your pizza.”

“Why are you so insistent on pizza?” Kozmo demanded.

“Why are you so resistant to pizza?” Sandy countered.

The debate continued, not harsh by any means, but Lily, who was closest to the kitchen door, picked up on their banter. “They’re fighting,” she lamented. “We have to do something so they’ll like each other again!”

Poppy dusted pencil marks off her hands and stood up. “I have an idea. Follow me.”

She and her sisters all but tumbled into the kitchen. Kozmo cut off his explanation of why tomato sauce does not, in fact, count as a vegetable, and arched an eyebrow. “Is there a reason all of you are here and not in the living room doing homework?”

“We want to hear you sing the Modern Major General song, Uncle Kozmo!”

Kozmo blinked. “Why do you want me to sing that now?”

“Because it’s a funny song and you’re good at it!” Violet chirped. “And I bet Sandy wants to hear it, too!”

Kozmo couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something. He stole a glance at Sandy, who was watching him curiously. “We’re trying to make dinner, girls, now’s not a—“

“Sing the General song! Sing the General song!” the girls chanted.

“Yeah, sing the General song!” Sandy chimed in with a laugh.

“Okay!” Kozmo held his hands up in submission. “But only the first verse.”

He took a deep breath, surprised at how self-conscious he felt. He had sung this song to the girls many times before, always to their delight. He drew his shoulders back into an elegant posture and began.

“I am the very model of a modern Major-General,  
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,  
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical  
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;  
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,  
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,  
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,  
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

“With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!” the girls sang as chorus.

“I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;  
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:  
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,  
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.”

“He is the very model of a modern Major-General!” The girls’ singing dissolved into laughter.

Sandy applauded. “That was great! You sing really well, Kozmo.”

Kozmo tried to brush off the compliment, but the girls were still giggling and he found himself a bit tongue-tied at the situation. “All right, that’s enough for now. Back to your homework, we’ll let you know when dinner is ready.” He shooed the girls out. “Don’t know what’s got into them tonight,” he muttered, mostly to himself, before looking over at Sandy. “Sorry about the interruption.”

“Don’t apologize, I meant what I said.” Sandy’s reply was quieter, but no less sincere. “You have a beautiful voice.” Before Kozmo could reply (not that he could think of anything to say), the blond added, “You should teach the girls ‘So Long, Farewell’ from the Sound of Music. I bet they’d like that.”

Kozmo laughed at the mental image. “I’ll keep that in mind…” He looked down at the cutting board. “Ah, you know, if we used the vegetables as a topping, pizza would work for dinner.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Sandy grinned, and Kozmo felt his heart flutter. Pull yourself together, he told himself, and went back to chopping vegetables.

***

After dinner, Kozmo asked the girls what movie they would like to watch before bed. This question usually precipitated a cacophonous clamoring of various titles suggested and rejected until finally, all five girls finally grudgingly agreed on one film.

So it was quite the shock that this evening, he was met with a unified response. “We want to watch The Little Mermaid!”

Kozmo tried not to make a face. “We’ve watched that one so many times, isn’t there something else you’d like?”

“No!”

“All right…” Kozmo grabbed the DVD from the shelf. The sooner he started the film, the sooner it would be over. Repeated viewings had sucked any initial pleasure he took from watching it.

He expected the girls to fight over who got to sit on the couch, but instead they lined up like little angels on the living room rug and left the sofa to him and Sandy. “Not a fan?” Sandy asked as Kozmo started the film and skipped past the trailers.

“Not really,” Kozmo admitted. “Except perhaps for Ursula. I appreciate a charismatic villain.”

“I like the mermaids.” Kozmo looked at him and the blond added cheekily, “And the mermen.”

“Shhh!” Poppy looked back. “The movie’s starting!”

Sandy mimed zipping his lips shut and Kozmo suppressed a laugh.

***

“Oh, Ariel loves him so much! It’s so sad that she can’t tell him.”

“I wish Eric would kiss her like the song is telling him to.”

Sandy leaned in. “Are they always like this?” he whispered.

“No.” Kozmo pursed his lips, both in confusion and to suppress the shivers he got from Sandy’s breath on his ear. “Something strange is going on.”

The girls oohed and aahed at the wedding scene in the finale, and Kozmo continued to frown. Yes, something was definitely going on.

***

Getting five girls ready for bed was a recipe for disaster, but Kozmo managed their routine with scary efficiency, giving directions and orders like a general on the battlefield. Violet was the last to brush her teeth. Sandy finished the dishes and joined everyone upstairs.

“Wow, it’s like a Swiss watch up in here,” he remarked as Kozmo herded Violet into the bedroom and made sure all five girls were tucked in.

“You can’t let it be any other way, you’ll lose your mind otherwise.” Kozmo grinned briefly and then clapped his hands once. The high-pitched chatter died down. “We have time for a story. What would you like me to read?”

“Cinderella!”

Kozmo looked disappointed. “Last time you wanted to hear a Goosebumps novel.”

“But Cinderella is romantic,” Daisy sighed.

“You’re seven,” Kozmo retorted.

Sandy located the fairy tale book, conveniently sitting on the play table in the middle of the room. “I’ll read it with you,” he offered. “I’ll be the fairy godmother and you can be the wicked step-mother.”

Kozmo smirked. “Fine, Cinderella it is.” He and Sandy took turns narrating and had the girls’ undivided attention for several minutes.

Story over, Kozmo shut the book and stood up. “Okay, goodnight girls. Lights out.”

“Wait! Just one more story, please?” Violet whined.

“Girls, it’s time for bed.”

“I want to hear another story!” Poppy bounced in her bed. “Another story about a princess!”

“Or a prince!” added Daisy.

“Or two princes!” Rose exclaimed.

“That’s ENOUGH.” Kozmo’s sharp voice silenced the girls. Even Sandy jumped. “I do not know what is going on here,” he continued, tone softer but no less stern, “But you have all been acting strange tonight which usually means you are up to something. So let’s hear it.”

He looked at each girl in turn, as if he could read their minds, waiting for one of them to speak.

“It was Baby’s idea!” Lily cried out, cracking under the pressure.

Violet glared at her sister, then wilted under Kozmo’s stare. “We were just trying for you and Sandy to get in a romantic mood so you’d ask him out because Mommy said you liked talking to him at the party and you could use a boyfriend and are you okay, Uncle Koz? You look like you have a headache.”

Kozmo was massaging his temples and trying very hard not to look in Sandy’s direction. He waited a second or two to see if the ground would open up and swallow him whole, then sighed when it did not. “Violet.” He looked up, his expression less stern. “That was very… thoughtful of you. But it’s also rude to meddle in people’s personal affairs. Rude to me and to Sandy. Even if I did ask him out, that doesn’t mean he’d—“

“I’d go out with you.”

Kozmo froze. Slowly, he turned his gaze towards the other man. “You would?”

“Yeah.” Sandy was smiling, and there was a faint blush on his cheeks. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Yay!” The girls cheered.

“Everybody go to sleep right now!” Kozmo snapped. He slammed off the light and walked out.

Sandy gave them a double thumbs-up before following Kozmo out of the room.

***

Downstairs, Kozmo flopped onto on the couch and stretched out his legs. Sandy sat next to him. “So, what do usually do after you put the girls to bed?”

“Honestly? I fall asleep. I’m normally a night owl but babysitting wears me out.” He stole a glance at the other man. “You really want to go on a date with me?”

Sandy smiled warmly. “Yes, I really do. I was hoping you were going to ask me at North’s party, actually.”

Kozmo blushed. “Yes, well… I’m not one to rush these sorts of things.”

“Apparently not.” Sandy’s expression turned thoughtful. “You know, now that I think about it, tonight was kind of like a date.” Kozmo made a skeptical sound. “No, I mean it. Dinner, a movie—“

“Five meddling seven-year-olds—“

Sandy took Kozmo’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “I prefer to think of them as kindly sprites bringing us together.”

Kozmo chuckled. Emboldened, he raised his free hand and lightly brushed the other man’s cheek. “So it wouldn’t be totally out of line for me to give you a goodnight kiss?”

“I won’t say no to a kiss from Prince Charming,” Sandy replied, a slight flush once again painting his cheeks.

“Oh, I’m no Prince Charming,” Kozmo nearly purred, a small, sly smile on his face.

“A sorcerer, then?” Sandy leaned in, head tilted up expectantly. “Ready to put me under your spell?”

“Something like that.” Kozmo brought his head down, ready to close the distance between them, then paused. “One moment,” he murmured. Then, without looking away from Sandy, he called out, “Violet, Daisy. Back to bed this instant or I am calling your mother.”

Giggles filled the air, followed by rapidly fading footsteps and the shutting of a door. “Those girls,” he muttered. But he didn’t get time to finish his thought as Sandy leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

Kozmo opened his mouth just enough to bring a bit of heat to their kiss and Sandy made a small, appreciative sound. He pulled back and gave the taller man’s hand a squeeze. “Sorry, I got impatient.”

“I told you, I’m not one to rush things.” Kozmo smiled softly and ran his thumb along Sandy’s lips. “Can I try again?” The other man nodded wordlessly and Kozmo dipped his head, most certainly not rushing anything, especially ending the second kiss.

***

When Aster and Tooth came home from their date, Kozmo was sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep. Sandy was nestled against him, his head resting on Kozmo’s chest. A thin line of drool from Sandy’s mouth was making a tiny puddle on the taller man’s black shirt.

Tooth cleared her throat and Sandy sat up with a yawn. Kozmo whimpered unhappily and pawed at the space where Sandy had been before opening his eyes. He was a sudden flailing mess of limbs as he tried to sit up and look presentable.

“Wear yourselves out?” Aster asked, unable to hide his amusement.

“Yes. No! I mean—“

“We had a wonderful time watching your daughters,” Sandy interjected, looking surprisingly unruffled. “How was your date?”

Tooth could not keep the grin off her face if she tried. “Wonderful. The Full Moon is fantastic, you really should go there sometime.” She looked at Kozmo pointedly, but he was busy trying to avoid eye contact. “Anyway, I suppose this means I have to pay both of you.” She handed Sandy, then Pitch, some cash. “Thanks again for your help.”

“Anytime,” Sandy smiled. He stood up and stretched. “Have a good night, Tooth. You too, Aster.”

Then he leaned down and gave Kozmo a kiss on the cheek. “Bye, handsome.” He mimed a phone held up to his ear and mouthed ‘call me’ before showing himself out.

Kozmo placed a hand on his cheek and smiled the goofiest grin that would probably ever grace his face, but his reverie was cut short by a sudden hug from Tooth. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so happy for you.”

“We just… we haven’t even gone on a date yet,” Kozmo muttered, embarrassed.

“No worries, mate.” Aster smiled. “You’ll be getting your groove back in no time.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Kozmo eased himself out of Tooth’s embrace and stood up. “You’re back, I can go home now, next time please figure out who is hiring the babysitter before calling me.”

“Sure thing,” Tooth giggled, sounding like one of her daughters. “Goodnight, Kozmo.”

“Goodnight.” The slight frown didn’t leave his face, but there was a definite spring in his step as he headed out the door and into the night.

Tooth shut the door behind him and did a silent dance of victory so she wouldn’t wake her daughters. Aster chuckled. “Excited that you were right after all, eh?”

“Yes. But not just that.” Tooth grinned slyly. “Once they become a couple, we’ll get two babysitters for the price of one!”

**Author's Note:**

> "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" (often referred to as the "Major-General's Song" or "Modern Major-General's Song") is a patter song from Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic opera The Pirates of Penzance.


End file.
